Thursday, September 30, 2010

the perceived end...

i wont be held responsible,

she was touching her face.

why? still cant figure out why i could not control that one fit of anger. my whims got the better of me. was always proud of being impulsive. not anymore. all that was needed was a spark of thought before i acted. all that was needed was thought. i had to react, i had to let the heat out. no, i didnt have time, no time to think. i never intended for it to happen. yet, its happened. its the kind that cant be undone. its the kind i'll have to regret, forever. and thats one thing i never wanted to do. its hard to be free, guilt-free. thats what regret does to a man. it brings all sorts of shitstorm into his life. there's no asking for forgiveness this time, it cant be granted. there's no pleading for understanding. blood is out, it cant be pushed back in. the bored hole in her breast poured out her warm scarlet, full of love. i searched, there was no hate. this brought only more pain. refrain, isolate, suffer. now let me find a hole or a cover. should i hide? whats the point? they will follow my wake, i will be caught. and besides, she is gone. nowhere to go now. so i lay beside her, put the barrel to my mouth. i hold her hand that is slowly getting cold. i close my eyes, smile and try to dream - the dream of the dolphins.....

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Hattiban

The sun was mellow in the evening. It had started to pity us after a day of scorching heat. The time of departure was nearing when we still had not finished packing up our gear. I, Ashish and Manish; three friends on two bikes – a Yamaha FZ and a Standard 350 Bullet were finally ready around 1700 hours. One tent and sleeping bags were all firmly tied up on the backseat of the Bullet, and so the FZ was rewarded with a pillion rider. Our backpack contents included some food (canned fish, bread and noodles, a whole load of water), a book, a camera and a pair of binoculars. No liquor taken though because we had not gone to party but we went just to ‘get away’.
Tashi Gumba

The road to Hattiban Resort is a dirt road riddled with stones which forks off the tarred road to Dakshinkali. Two interesting places on the road are Chobhar and Taudaha. Just before the fork where we’re supposed to divert towards Hattiban, you can see a monastery – the Tashi Gumba. At the fork there is a ‘chiya pasal’ which is the only place to eat until you reach the Resort.

So off we went riding our bikes and admiring the view and the road. For passionate bikers, the time of the day and the road are one of the best in the valley. The turns at Chobhar are perfect for Enfielders who love meeting the turn at 80 km/hr with their Bullets piercing the turn bankings at angles so acute that make other riders gloat with jealousy. We didn’t stop until we got to the small tea shop at the fork. Snack time!
Stopped at the fork

The road upto the resort was uphill and painful, the stones engrossed on the road testing the tolerance of the bikes’ suspensions. It has a series of hairpin bends. If you are a nature-enthusiast, I suggest you to go slow on this road for it has an interesting diversity of resident wildlife. The uphill road cuts through a sparse reforested Chir Pine forest where Indian Hare and Barking Deer are frequently seen. Also keep a lookout for raptors. Steppe Eagles roost along the southern section of Bagmati River and hence are usually seen in the skies above the forest. I once saw a cluster of 18 Steppes soaring the thermals in this area. That day was a blessing. If you’re lucky, you might also see the Eurasian Sparrowhawk from the road. Other birds such as Treepies, Magpies and Tits are resident and are frequently seen.


After the resort, the road becomes a ridge trail and passes through campsites to Champadevi and Chitlang. We chose one of these campsites for the night. Do not expect a good view of the valley from the campsites because the vegetation foliage blocks most of it. But do not be disheartened all so soon too!
Camp ready.Kathmandu!

Ashish and I started setting up the tent as soon as we got to the site as only few hours of daylight remained. Manish happily obliged to collect cones and twigs to build a fire. We readied the camp just as Kathmandu welcomed darkness. A good campfire is a delight. We sat down around the fire and talked for a while. 8 o’ clock in the night and after a tiring job well done, even the fish and bread were eaten with much vigor. The view of the valley was a canopy of bright lights although only a little of it was visible. We went to sleep at around 2200 hours. You have to spend a night in the woods to hear how the jungle sounds like. To some it’s soothing, to some it’s intimidating.
Sunrise .. the moment.

Next morning was glorious, perfect weather and a beautiful sunshine. All the junglefolks started clamoring with excitement welcoming the newborn day. After hurriedly packing up our stuff, we moved on to the view tower near the resort. It was a sight to see. We had an unobstructed view of the Himalayas when the rest of the valley was still engulfed in the mist. The pictures show the sight more clearly than I could ever describe. No one’s day could have started any better than ours. Finally we bid farewell to the ridge and the forest. We rode back home to the concrete jungles just 40 minutes away.

Arch.Structures_08/09

The Canteen @ NUAA (BenBu)

An apartment building at twilight

Same building, different effects (Edit: Manish Joshi)

NUAA main building, JiangNing

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

SankatA

Its early evening when I wander into the misty place. The narrow gullies lie just behind the epic New Road. Its the gullies of TehBahal. I'm walking a path I used to walk when I was a little kid. I know its just my imagination, but the place has a nostalgic smell. Even the shopkeeper at the sweets shop looked familiar, probably just another imagination. The gullies twist and turn revealing new shops and new faces. Food stalls along the road and people around it seems chatty and joyous. They all put a smile on my face. This is a part of new Kathmandu.

Finally I reach a big courtyard. The temple stands invincible in the same place as the last century. The atmosphere is enchanting. The street lamps around the place emit the tantalizing chrome light which diffuse in the air and let the whole area glow golden reminding me of its magnificence. Everything about the place is mesmerizing, specially when my mind has been worn out after a long week. The vendors running around trying to sell the flowers or the worship wicks, devout people visiting the temple or the stray dogs scratching their ears and sniffing around; they all move in a predictable and sort of animated way. It is all so amusing.

How long had it been? Five years? Yes, five years since I had last been to this place. Never religiously though. But the place always made me bow, I was and am awed.

Still I believe, God is dead.

Why China sucks ass...

Now that I'm out of China where no servers are watching me, and where no chinky cops can get to me; here's what I have to say:

Don't get me wrong my chinky friends. I've had good times with you all and I love you all. BUT, there is something seriously wrong with the place you've been in for all your life and the place where I've been for the last four years. And you all are just dreamers who don't have a clue about what's going on in your so called Motherland. What you see is what you know, and what you know is nothing. The world is full of life, and you all are finding bliss in the government's force-fed ignorance. Woah! What a bummer. Yeah, shit happens; and it has been happening in China from before you were born.

What you learn in school is what you know. OR it is what the government wants you to know. The isolation of more than five decades and the brain washing of citizens during and after that period has left all of you in a state where you enjoy the absence of knowledge. Believe me, because the whole world agrees with me when I say "You all were fucked up!". You all have been patriotic, that is admirable. BUT in vain. You are loyal to the country that is blinding you. You are under a controlled environment and you don't know that yet because you haven't ever been in open air yet. You don't know what FREEDOM is. You don't have anything to complain about because you don't know what you're missing.

What happened in Paris was inevitable. The Olympics should have been boycotted, I did my part. But instead of trying to know why the Olympic torch was obstructed and why Beijing Olympics '08 was protested, you all did something which truly astonished me. You all started coming online with "♥ China" in your display names. Why? Because the government didn't let you know that the protest was actually for the injustice in Tibet. Rather, you all thought that the French were jealous of China? LMFAO! But I am not going to laugh because I consider all of you mentally impaired. You can't even get your facts right because the government doesn't allow you to. All the information sources are blocked or censored by the government. You all are happy to watch the stupid kungfu shows on the TV. Isn't it time to wake up yet?

Yes, China's getting better in every other way. I love the place, I love the people. I hate the government. But, its just crazy to watch a person live an ant's life. Yes, life is fun for you but it is not life you have. You all are missing the quintessential element of existence. Just because a room is enough for you doesn't mean that you don't have the right to peek outside. Beware - I'm not writing this because I'm a capitalist (I am not). I'm trying to enlighten you. To all those who understand what I'm saying - Try to know the world and know what your government has done to you. To all those who don't understand or don't want to understand - Fuck You!

FREE TIBET!!

Becoming Us...

The road reminds me, it misses us
The house used to see, but no more
It's easy, very easy to remember
The jellies, candies and chocolate bars.

Homes always built, lands still the same
Yes, we have grown up so much now
Its easy, very easy to remember
How we've lost all the innocence.

I can't get my mind off of it
It's eating the soul of the kid
It is a romance designed to be sad
It's a virtue of life, to become.

Hide the truth, it will make us normal
Hush your conscience, it will make us acceptable
Burn the polaroids that follow our wake
We can all be happy, our life is done.